First, I want to say thank you. When I emailed you a couple weeks ago after months without any contact, you welcomed me back with open arms.
I received so many responses with things like:
“Thank you for sharing your story. I feel like I could have written this myself.”
“Thank you for sharing and embodying the courage to let something burn.”
“When you shared about “breaking up with astrology,” it felt like the same universal pattern I’m in, leaving something that once saved you, not because it was wrong, but because you have changed.”
I did not expect such an outpouring of support. And you gave me something invaluable — tangible evidence that I am doing something right.
So in response to your responses, I’m pulling together something special that will be ready to share with you on December 22nd. Don’t worry, it’s not a promo or a pitch — just a powerful piece of content that I think will bond us even tighter as we navigate the final chapter of a pretty tough year of endings.
TL;DR: I thought I was stuck between choosing to be all-in at my job or this newsletter. Until I recognized that my corporate role is giving me access and a playground to create change and this newsletter serves as a vehicle to document that journey and multiply the impact. I need both to be all-in on either.
I am not wired to half-ass anything.
I have big ideas for this newsletter and big dreams for where I want it to go.
But this past weekend as I was jotting down the influx of topics that I want to write about, I started to hit a wall.
My previous business started as a side hustle coaching clients at night or on weekends while I stayed in my corporate job. The catalyst that pushed me to finally leave was my mentor reflecting to me that I was not a person that can half-ass anything, I am wired to go all in.
And she was right.
But now here I am in the same scenario again.
In a corporate job full time, trying to do something on the side.
At this point I have the experience to know that full time self-employment isn’t it for me, but working in corporate without creating my own thing isn’t either. So the question became, how can I be all-in on both?
Going back was always part of the plan
Pondering that question made me reflect on where I was almost year ago when I got the nudge to go back to corporate work. I kicked and screamed when I received those instructions until it was revealed to me that going back was part of the plan all along.
There is no faster way to work through your self-imposed limitations and reconcile with who your really are than being in a business where you are the product. All your fear, all your beliefs about yourself, all the challenges and lessons you need to learn have a way of surfacing and staying right in your face until you do the work to move through them.
I believe I called it self-development on steroids.
My business equipped me with a level of confidence I never knew I had and cemented my trust in my relationship with universal forces when time after time, I received money, opportunities, and answers at the exact moment I needed them. I was the sole proprietor of my business, but I never did anything alone.
When I questioned why I had to give up the freedom I had worked so hard to create and the business I worked so hard to build, I was given an image of a flood of spiritual, highly-aware people infiltrating low-vibrational environments.
Like trojan horses but light workers disguised as executives. Conscious insiders.
As if we were called out to work on ourselves so that we could return with the strength and courage to initiate change from the inside out and spark a quiet, energetic revolution.
This new understanding dissolved my conflict.
My career gives me access and opportunity to initiate the change I was called to make.
These field notes will be my way of sharing stories of what possible so that you can find ways to do the same, increasing the impact beyond what I could ever do by myself.
I need both to do either, and now I can be all in.
What exactly will that look like? I’m not sure.
It may involve talking about mystical concepts in a way that corporate executives would understand. Or conducting metaphysical experiments in my lab (office) and sharing about how it all plays out.
Or something entirely different that I haven’t thought of, yet.
I told you, this is the messy middle. We’re figuring this out together.
How is this showing up for you?
What’s keeping you from being all in? Do you feel stuck trying to choose between two seemingly conflicting choices? Let’s see if we can figure it out — just reply to this email.
From the field,
Marissa