On the Breakup That Led Me Here

I’ve written this letter dozens of times in my head but every time I sat down to put my fingers on a keyboard I questioned if it was really the end, hoping that the passion would come back. I had built an entire business around it for fucks sake, how could I possibly explain that I was just “over it”?

Many of us have grown up not knowing who we really are or what we really want out of life, and it’s easier to lean on an external system that gives us a map to follow or a blueprint to align to.

But the truth is, our minds are more powerful than the influence of any planet. And once you know that, there’s no going back.

Which is why I have officially broken up with astrology.

Have you ever loved someone deeply, but then looked at your life and realized that they no longer fit?

It was like that.

Astrology had helped me in more ways than one. I would not be where I am today had I not spent so much time with it.

But I couldn’t ask a colleague for their birth details to determine the best way to work with them. I couldn’t use a void moon as an excuse for why a meeting went nowhere. And I certainly could not say I was struggling with a project for the CEO because 6 planets were in retrograde.

It was a peaceful breakup. I let go of clients, ended the podcast, stopped writing on Substack, let the website expire, and filed the dissolution.

I donated my piles of astrology books to a budding astrology student, gifted a final session to a client who found me through an old affiliate link, and got a little tattoo to say my final goodbye and commemorate it all.

One thing after another, pieces of my astrology practice fell away like dominos and all I had to do was allow it to happen and work through the stages of grief that came with it.

And it was done.

It wasn’t until I stopped outsourcing answers that I could finally see the path forward — which, like any good rom-com story — had been right in front of me all along.

I wanted to study psychology and philosophy in college, but ended up in Neuroscience, which was a fair compromise with my parents because it was still a science while giving me the opportunity to learn about the human mind. I wrote my senior thesis on autism because I was fascinated by people who saw the world differently and seemed to have access to information most of us didn’t. They felt special, like they were tuned into something the rest of us were missing.

And honestly, that’s what I’ve always been chasing. An understanding of the world beyond what we can see with our eyes and connecting with something beyond our physical reality.

Astrology was one answer. It served as a map to explain what I was sensing but couldn’t see. It gave me evidence in a way to prove myself.

But then it stopped making sense, and around that same time, I listened to Season 1 of the Telepathy Tapes, which was like a mirror reminding me of where I started, and what I really cared about.

I don’t need the map anymore. I need to understand how consciousness works. How we access information. And how we shape our reality from the inside out.

So I’m going back to my roots to study energy, consciousness, and the human experience. But this time, I won’t be studying it from the outside.

I’ll be testing it in my daily life, experimenting with it in my corporate job, and documenting what it’s really like to integrate the physical world with the unseen one.

In other words, I’ll be reporting from the field.

Field Notes will chronicle my lived experience as I navigate living in both worlds. You won’t find how-to guides or 5-step enlightenment plans here. Instead, expect real-time documentation organized into a few core themes:

If something in my story resonated with you, if you’re also navigating endings or questioning systems you once relied on, then welcome. This is where we figure it out together.

Your experience will not be linear. I won’t pretend to have all the answers. But I can offer you companionship as you take a step into the unknown.

This will be more meaningful for both of us as a two way conversation. Reply or comment and tell me: what endings are you navigating right now? What have you outgrown?

From the Field,
Marissa